B87 TRIVIA GAME #25
7 June | 8:07 AM Manila
Lying in Bed, Thinking About Early Retirement... Should I?
I started journaling my life when I wake up in the morning since the thought of having more "Me" time in my retirement years was... Well, I am now finally retired and has this hobby of journaling. Here's one of my journal entries that is about my fears on deciding and choosing early retirement.
Sheila Ansaldo-Ledesma
5/29/20262 min read
This morning, I found myself doing nothing.
No rushing. No replying. No solving anyone’s problem. Just lying in bed… staring at the ceiling… thinking.
And somehow, that felt strange. Because for so many years, my life has been about movement.
Being needed. Showing up. Fixing things. Helping family. Handling responsibilities. Running a business. Managing people. Making decisions. Carrying emotional weight that no one else sees.
I’ve worn many hats in my life. A wife. A mother. A helper. A business owner. A leader. A problem-solver. And somewhere along the way, I got so used to being “the strong one” that I rarely asked myself: What do I want now?
Lately, early retirement has been sitting quietly in my thoughts. Not because I want to stop living. Not because I’m tired of purpose. But because I wonder what life feels like when it’s no longer about constant survival, deadlines, obligations, and being everyone’s dependable person.
So what does a slower life look like? Would I wake up without anxiety? Would I enjoy coffee without checking my phone? Would I finally take care of my body the way I’ve been telling myself I should? Would I rediscover parts of me that got buried under responsibility?
Well tell me if im wrong.. for me the truth is, retirement isn’t just a financial question. It’s emotional. Because when your identity has been built around being useful, slowing down can feel unfamiliar… even scary.
Who am I if I’m not solving something? Who am I if people need me less? And yet… another question whispers louder these days: Who could I become if I finally made space for myself?
I’m not dreaming of luxury. I’m dreaming of peace. A modest life. Meaningful days. Time with family without feeling rushed. A healthier body. A calmer mind. Maybe even mornings where I stay in bed a little longer without guilt.
Maybe lang early retirement isn’t about escaping work. Maybe it’s about finally choosing a different kind of life.
I don’t have all the answers yet. But this quiet morning reminded me of something: After years of pouring into others… maybe it’s okay to wonder what pouring into myself might look like.
Still becoming.
Countdown to the Reunion
Join us for our 40th Year Class Reunion.
© 2026 | Batch '87 | All rights reserved
BLOg